So I don't believe I have blogged since I was around 16. I looked back on what I wrote a few years ago, and had one of those, what the hell was wrong with me moments. Hopefully I can look back and feel the same embarrassment over this one in a few years.

About me, ok, so signing up to blog regardless of who reads it to keep myself accountable as I try to  lose weight. Nono, get fit. Losing weight and wanting to be skinny is shalllooow! I want to get ripped as all hell. I want to use the word swole in an unironic way.

I am 27, 28 in june. On June 27th I am flying to Europe for a 3 week adventure with husband and an awesome friend. It is going to be awesome. I want to look awesome. Sure, I want to change my life and look great in general, but this is my goal for now!

I got married on May the fourth, no star wars pun intended ohgod, last year. Met the husband in highschool, jerked around for a few years and finally the stars aligned and we finally started dating in the last week of year 12, in 2003. Coming up to our 11 years this October. Highschool sweethearts, yes yes, get all the aws out of your system now kind reader. I work as a chemist, and it sucks the life out of me. No, its actually not that bad, but of course I would prefer to be living on a tropical island drinking bourbon all day, instead of shlepping my 9 - 5 in a blur of science and maths.

I play hockey, not well, but I do it. If I had a medal, it would definitely say 'participant'.

I am a softbody. After high school, getting into a comfortable relationship, drinking my way through uni and driving everywhere, I gradually put on around 20kgs. One day, early last year after returning home from a trip from China, I stood on the scales and realized I weighed 92kg. When did my life turn into this? My heart sank. How can I weigh this much? How can I not see this in myself?  Sure I'm not the shortest person (172cm), I am busty, I have a big head... I guess I had just never really noticed what had happened to my body in the last 10 years since high school.

I am not a dieter. In fact, I love food. All food, all flavours, all textures. I am a machine! I didnt exercise. Too much food in, not enough exercising, its so simple looking back.

I signed up for 12wbt in August, and did two rounds, bringing me to now, 10kg lighter. But I need more. MORE. I am still overweight. I need to commit more. The second I finished my last round, I thought I was ready to free myself, but I found portion sizes increasing, I was able to justify, oh Ill just have one and go to gym later.... I need another round to really kick this lifestyle change into my stupid head.

So while this round doesn't start until March 24th, I am changing my life already. I just signed up for crossfit for a month. I don't know if you have done this, but holy hell its hard, but its FUN. I have never been in such a supportive atmosphere before. I went to a class on monday and got more high 5s than I ever have in my life before - I want to chase that feeling!

I want to run. I hate running, its boring, I can't daydream, my brain tells me whats the point. I want to run 10km non stop.

I want to lose another 15kg. If I lose another 6 kg I will be in healthy BMI zone, thats my first goal.

I want to be able to do a handstand pushup. I guess I need to figure out how to do a handstand first.

I should probably stop waffling now, but i have plans. BIG PLANS. I cannot wait for 12wbt next round to start, I love the control I have. I control everything I do, the exercise I do, the food I eat and I won't make exceptions. I want more people to notice my weight loss cause I can talk about Michelle Bridges non stop. I feel like a MB zombie and I am ok with it.

Anyway, this is me, trying to lose weight and get fit.